


The Past, The Present, and The Future

by DrScullyDuMaurier



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: F/M, Pre-Series, Season 3, murder baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4796255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrScullyDuMaurier/pseuds/DrScullyDuMaurier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The night after my son died. When I came to you.” She says running a hand over her stomach. Hannibal nods, and pressing his body against hers. “I can’t… have anymore children without assistance.” She says. </p><p>“Would you like a child?” He asks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Past, The Present, and The Future

**Author's Note:**

> This happened some time before his capture and after Contorno. ENJOY!

Hannibal looked at the door in confusion when he heard a knock at his door. He went opened it to reveal Bedelia Du Maurier. The same Bedelia that was always so elegant and gorgeous, soaking wet from the rain in a torn dress with dark makeup running down her face from her red eyes. “Can I come in?” She asks. Surprisingly there is much strength in her voice despite her disheveled appearance. Hannibal moves out of the way for her to enter, and she does enter holding her head high. “What do you have to drink?” She asks. He raises a brow, then glances at her stomach.

“You're aware of how harmful it is to the child, Bedelia. What has you like this?” He asks. He slips on his psychiatrist mask and walks with her as she leads him to his kitchen. 

“There is no child.” She says blankly, ice in her tone. She goes to his cupboard and gets out the first bottle of wine she sees. “This’ll do?” She asks.

“What do you mean, Bedelia?” He asks her, reaching out to stop her hand. He has a good idea, but he knows how important it is to talk about these things. 

“I mean that the bleeding started at two am two weeks ago on a Sunday morning. I was in the hospital till six that night. They couldn’t do anything.” She says. The look in her eyes showed how hollow she felt inside. “I tried… so hard to convince myself that'd I'd be a go-" She stops herself, then tries to finish. "And now he’s gone.” She says closing her eyes. She will not show weakness in front of Hannibal though, she can’t. “So is this okay?” She asks. He nods slightly, and she pops it open and starts pouring her seventh, if she’s being honest with herself, glass for the night. She looked so thin. He could see it now. The nice roundness of stomach was gone. Her body seemed to disappear underneath her dress. She was a good four months along. They'd had the gender told to them early. It was a little boy. 

“Bedelia, do you want to talk?” Hannibal asked. Still not quite understanding why she showed up to his house unannounced. The only reason she’d ever done that was when she needed him to… it couldn’t be for that, could it? They’d only slept together maybe a total of five times. Her and Charles weren't exclusively a thing, and he personally despised the man. He was the father of Bedelia's child though.

“No.” She says slowly. He watches as her chest rises, and she takes steps towards him. “I don’t want to talk.” She says. She licks her lips, and reaches for his coat. 

“Bedelia, what about Charles?” He asks. She shakes her head. 

“He’s gone.” She says narrowing her eyes, and pressing herself against him. “Make love to me.” She says more sure. “I know you want to. You have ever since the last time. I see it in your eyes.” She says. Hannibal stiffens and looks down at Bedelia. His face doesn’t show the arousal she’d hoped for, instead it had only concern. She went back for her glass and started drinking again. She’d stopped seeing Hannibal as a patient since her pregnancy started. She started to teach instead. Less stressful, Charles had said to her. Charles, who kept asking to marry him. Charles who had given her a child. An accident. Charles, her one of many one night stands. He’d given her a miracle, and then tried to convince her to a life of wedlock. She knew he wouldn't be faithful though. Her mother was trying to convince her to settle for him. Bedelia knew better though. There was a side to Charles that she knew was hidden behind the obnoxious charming mask. One that made her leave him a week ago. 

“What were you thinking about?” Hannibal asks as Bedelia stares at herself in the full length mirror. He comes up behind her, and touches her side gently. They were standing in their bedroom in Europe, on their way to a party and he'd caught her staring at herself. 

“The night after my son died. When I came to you.” She says running a hand over her stomach. Hannibal nods, and pressing his body against hers. “I can’t… have anymore children without assistance.” She says. 

“Would you like a child?” He asks. She sighs, and cocks her head to the side so he could press his lips there. They had somewhere to be, but he wasn’t rushing her just yet. 

“I never imagined myself as a mother. Maybe the person I was would’ve made a good loving mother, but ever since…” She almost finishes it with, I met you, but instead she stops speaking hoping he’ll just understand. “Maybe I’d still feel the same, but… I can’t go through that again. The operations, the testing, and the miscarriages.” She says quietly, flashing back to another time. 

“They said that in order for me to ever have another child… it would have to be done through treatments.” Bedelia says. The room she was in was beige, a calming, neutral color. Something fit for the office of her psychiatrist. She closes her eyes, and re-positions herself in the soft chair.

“Do you want children? Before you got pregnant you were set on not having children.” Dr. Cameron said. Bedelia looked into the woman’s dark brown eyes, and smiled a bit. 

“I got so used to the idea. I imagined a life where… I convinced myself that I could be a good mother.” Bedelia says. “I don’t know. Maybe I do want a child.”

“Are you nervous about doing it on your own?” Dr. Cameron asks. Bedelia lets out a breathy laugh.

“I can mother a child just fine on my own. If I need help then I can hire assistance. That won’t be trouble.” Bedelia says. 

“I know you’re capable of raising a child on your own, but the process of trying to have a child is a very difficult one. It won’t always work, and their will be nights where you feel alone, and you’re in pain. There will be days when they tell you it didn’t take, or you feel like giving up. There will be nights when the fetus doesn’t survive and you’ll have to go through that pain again. I’m not telling you not to do it, but I am telling you that you need to prepare yourself. It will hurt, and despite what many think about you, you do feel.” Dr. Cameron says. Bedelia picks at her nails. “And that’s all our time.” 

“It’s nice to see you again Anne. I really needed this.” Bedelia says. Dr. Anne Cameron smiles. 

“I’m glad too.” She takes a moment before speaking. “And, I’m so sorry about… everything.” Bedelia nods. It was only this morning she'd woken up in Hannibal's bed. In his clothes. He'd brought her breakfast then they'd made love well into the day.

“I’m starting to move on.” Bedelia says. 

“So… Hannibal?” Anna asks pouring them wine. Bedelia smirks a mischievous smile. 

“Did you kill him?” Bedelia asks Hannibal as she moved her stockings down her legs. Hannibal waves her hands away, and gets on his knees. 

“What makes you think I killed him?” Hannibal asks. Bedelia leans back, and lets him undress her. 

“He disappeared off of the face of the earth. I wanted to believe he’d run away with whatever girl he’d been sleeping with, but after a while I started thinking maybe someone was just as unhappy with him as I was.” Bedelia says. 

“Before I did, he asked me if I was doing it for you. I was. I believe. For you. What were those gashes made with again? A kitchen knife?” She smiles. 

“It was a letter opener. I was acting on impulse so it would’ve been stupid to kill him. I wanted to though. I thought about it.” She said honestly. “I saw it in my head.” She says. Hannibal trailed his fingers, and lips up her thigh. “How’d you do it?” She asked him. He looks up from his position between her legs. 

“Well, darling, I slit his throat.” He says nipping at her thighs. She gasps, and runs her fingers through his hair. “He was a sad, pathetic man, and quite rude.” She cocks her head to the side, and runs her fingers along his face. She brings him up so she can kiss him. Taking his bottom lip into her mouth. 

Bedelia woke in the guest room in what she recognized as Hannibal’s house. She smiled a thin smile when she saw him walk in with a beautiful breakfast ready for her. He laid it on the counter space next to the bed, and sat beside her. She saw the pills and a tall glass of water. That's what she went for first. “Where’s Charles, Bedelia?” He asks. Her face goes dark, and she turns away from him as she takes her medicine.

“I said he’s gone.” Bedelia answers shortly. Hannibal nods. He leans down, and places a kiss on Bedelia’s collar bone. She takes a deep breath. “I’d still like for you to make love to me.” Bedelia says honestly. Hannibal opens his mouth against her skin, and she licks her lips. When she arches her back he hears her wince, and he looks up quickly. She looks down at him, and sits up. This had to have been exposed some time soon. Why not now? She unbuttons the t-shirt of his she’d remembered putting on the night before. When she let it pool around her hips, he pulled her to stand up. Completely bare in from of him, she turned around so he could see the worst of the bruises. 

He grazed his fingers over the marks on her back. “What was his excuse?” Hannibal asked. 

“I didn’t want to… perform oral sex on him, and I was still bleeding because of the miscarriage. He had the mask of a charming, wealthy, cultured mask, but he had a problem with the word no.” Her words clipped.

“Was this the first time?” Hannibal asked. Bedelia gives him a harsh look. Her eyes tell him the answer he knew he’d get. It was the first time, and the man was lucky to be alive... for now.

“I almost killed him.” Bedelia says softly. “I tried to kill him. The pains started the day after he started to get frustrated with me. I’m assuming the stress from dealing with him, and the girl that showed up at my door added to the high risk already. He was gone the night I lost the baby, and didn’t come back till a week later.” She says touching her flat stomach. Hannibal examines the faint bruises and his jaw flexes. "When he came back, he did this."

“Where is he now?” Hannibal asked splaying his hands out on her back. The hand print from that man’s grip making him have to take a calming breath.

“Gone. Just leave him be. I went at his throat with a letter opener. I only got him on his arms, and part of his chest. The blood is still on my floor.” She says thinking about it. She looks up to him with pleading eyes. She was so small in his arms. "Forget about him."

“What do you need?” He asks placing a kiss on her lower back, on one of her bruises. Just because he was moving on in the conversation doesn’t mean he wasn’t thinking of the best way to prepare the father of her dead child. She closes her eyes, and tilts her head back just a touch.

“Help me forget about him.” She whispers. He knows that the "him" she refers to isn't Charles, but the baby boy she'd lost. He turns her around in his arms, and lets her crawl over him.

That night in their bedroom in Italy she grazes her nails along the side of his face when he slips inside of her. He listens her growl below him, and he looks down to find her eyes on him. Clouded with arousal, and in that moment he makes a note of how beautiful she is. Her hand wraps around his head, and she pulls his head towards hers. She kisses along his jaw till she reaches his ear. Then she opens her mouth to release four words. 

“Give me a child, Hannibal.” She says. 

He knows he doesn’t love her. He knows she doesn’t love him. She stays though, and she comes to him. He goes to her, and he lets her stay. He cares for her, and maybe she won't ever realize that, but he does. As he listens to the words fall from her red lips, though he knows he'll be incarcerated when she conceives, he finds himself fill with joy at the thought of the child they'd create together. When they finish, and she asks him to hold her for the contact, he finds her ear and plants a kiss on it.

**Author's Note:**

> If my trasitions didn't work out like I'd have liked them to then I'll clear this up. The first flashback was the night she went to Hannibal a week after she had a miscarriage, the third flashback is the morning she woke up at his home, and the second one is after all of this when she went to her therapy appointment.
> 
> If you have any requests or prompts or any comments you can talk to me on Tumblr at drscully-dumaurier! Thank you for reading!


End file.
